Customary cervix to be resumed presently ...

There has been a bit of a paucity of updates over the last week or so, I know. The reason for this is I had been working my arse off helping organise a wargames show. Like a fucking lead balloon, before you ask. It turns out that the wargames community as a whole (ie you) are a bunch of bastards. That's right, the fault for my failure lies squarely with you and not with me or anything I did wrong.

Still, there's always next year, and hopefully the Warmachine/Hordes community will actually support this one, instead of just one person turning up.

I think Matt DiPietro was in town, so the security closed off all the roads around our area. Fucking celebrities, eh?

On a painty side, I did get the Skorne test model finished. I learned that painting quickly should not mean rushed (I fucked up the skin) and it looks quite ... well, there will be a photo or two in the next update, before the end of the week.

I also have to get a Retribution solo done, finish off Kaelyssa and get another solo painted. However, I have decided to go off on my first 'official' tangent. No, the army painting thing doesn't count - it's in the same universe. This tangent is Big Boris MkII, from Heresy Miniatures. Big boris is sculpted by Andy Foster, and is how barbarians should be. Hugely muscled half ogres the likes of which haven't been seen for ages in this world of too much detail and bizarre action poses (like the Infinity sniper balancing on one fucking leg).

Andy also has the license to produce Thrud miniatures, and also makes the fabled Netherlord II - a half a kilo of metal with the biggest cock you've ever seen on a miniature. Seriously, it's called the 'Netherwang'.

Go buy loads of stuff from him, he's a great bloke and the miniatures are awesome, too.

Rob
Angry at you in particular

Second Picture Update ...

Bit of a lackluster update today (to match the damn model). So, as promised, here are some crappy pictures of my attempt to match the PP studio Retribution paint scheme. Painting while ill, remember, is not a wise thing to do. Of course, it didn't stop me from fucking up my model and not having easy access to Simple Green, I'll most likely toss the model when it's done. Fucking Matt DiPietro, he made it sound so fucking simple - just add 3 drops of Radiant Platinum, 1 drop of Red Ink and 2 of Blue Ink and 3 drops of Armour Wash my fucking arse. I ended up with a green sword and really dark purple metal everywhere else. Why didn't any of you bastards remind me how fucking strong inks actually are? Well, as long as I can amuse you, I suppose.

Here's the first picture, Kaelyssa's sword:

Oh, that dark line isn't fucking shadow, it's the ink I was told to use. For fuck's sake. At least the compression on the .jpg toned down the shine. Perhaps that's why she's such an effective warcaster - her sword blinds her opponents.

What a load of shit, eh? Well prepare yourself: here's the next one, Kaelyssa herself.

So this is the main body. I do tend to be a quite messy painter, tidying up as I go, but bugger me. Not very nice to say the least. Well, actually, that's like gilding a turd. It has made me think, though. While it's nice (ha!) to try to do your best to improve, it's fucking slow going getting an army done. So I have decided to start another project while this one is going on: getting my Skorne onto the tabletop. To do this, I'm going to speedpaint my tits off, and alternate between the two factions. So tomorrow I'll start the prep on some Skorne (I have a fair amount) with a view to having a portion of them ready for undercoating by Sunday. As for the colour scheme, I'll be going for a monochromatic look similar to the film '300'.

That's right, I'll be ripping off Ron Kruzie's idea from No Quarter. Hell, he's the head of the Privateer painting studio, he hired Matt DiPietro so it's his fault I messed up on this model and I can feel no guilt whatsoever stealing his colour scheme.

See? Justification is easy.

Just ask the Bush family.

Rob
Angry because he hasn't had anything to eat yet

First Picture Update

Well, it's a bit of a crappy picture (not enough light) and it turns out Paint.net is not as good as Photoshop (selection tools lick rectum big time) but what the hell. I messed about with levels and the like to get it closer to what it actually looks like but it turned into the same green as Green Stuff (used to make the damn thing). In reality it's a warm green with reddish-brown shading and in the pic it's ... utter bollocks.

I'm trying to get a more naturalistic look, not taking the highlights too high so the armour looks really white (it's actually a really, really pale blue) which should tie in to her dye-job when I paint her hair. Which is why she's wearing a spinach-green cloak (plants are cammo, right?) offset with that stealthiest of colours, bright fucking white. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not jumping on the colour scheme bashing bandwagon (I quite like it) but Matt DiPietro is far better at this lark than I am. He's most likely younger and better-looking than me which makes me want to spew bile like I just drank the world's most potent emetic. Bastards.

White and black are two of the most difficult colours to shade and highlight and thanks to Matt 'Inspirational' DiPietro I've jumped right in - the damn 'jacks are going to be a pain in my ringpiece, lots of smooth surfaces to shade. Mind you, the Ret painting guide in the army book is worth the price alone. That's right, I have an army of these bastards to get through. The plan is to paint every model as well as I can, that way I should improve a bit.

There will be rants aplenty in future, but that's it for this episode. Much Kudos to Matt DiPietro and the Privateer Press painting studio for being inspirational, even if it does make me overreach myself.

First one of you bastards to tell me to 'Paint like I got a pair' gets a half-brick in the fucking face.

Rob
Angry he hasn't got Mike McVey's skills