Games Expo and other things ...

So I'm back from Games Expo and with Wargames Inc nearly in working order, no less. Rather than working with the shop, I got to volunteer with Privateer Press for the weekend. Being a pressganger, I get points for it (nothing in life is truly free after all) to spend on goodies. It was this sweet deal that led to me being the only person there with a Cryx faction book.

The show itself was great. I got to catch up with some friends who had entered the tourney but, more importantly, I got to catch up with Vishal from over at Café Turbo and get some tips on my choice of Khador force. I felt very dirty afterwards. He's a bad, bad man. I also got to cover the first day of the tournament as a rules lawyer. Aside from the inactivity the best thing about that day was seeing my old mate and Everblight terror Danny Suthalong lose his first game. I enjoyed it so much I just had to shake the winner's hand. In front of Danny. But fuck him, eh?

I had to cover Vish for his half hour break so I got to go to the demo area (really my favourite part of volunteering) and managed to drag Vish out for a cigarette break (and tactical advice) and then made an expanded sale to one of the Guts'n'Gears podcast. Then back to the tourney. Some lovely armies, some great players but on the whole a bit boring. Like watching an interesting game of chess or snooker. It's vaguely fascinating but it's still chess or snooker.

In case you're wondering, I got to stay in the demo area on Sunday (I think Mike had really had enough of my whining about not earning my points on Saturday). Highlights include a really overenthusiastic demo game that led to a lot of sales and hanging with Lee, Steve, Chris and Stuart. I suppose I should really apologise to Stuart. He was the only guy who knew what was going on with the cool new demo game, so even though he was pretty drained I got him to run the game again. and again. And I got to get a disillusioned Retribution player to buy two Hordes battleboxes. But fuck him, eh?

So, a great weekend. Soured only by people's continuing lack of understanding with regards to aesthetics and basic taste. It seems that in order to garner rabid appreciation of your product all you have to do is add spikey bits, circa GW's late eighties/eary nineties approach to Chaos armies. The latest model to appropriate this design ethic is Privateer Press' War Hog. Now, I'm a fan of huge animals ripping things to pieces. I yearn for an army of attack maquaques riding silverback gorillas so much I'm sculpting one myself. The idea of sentient pig men à la Tolkien's Orcs maiming random Warcasters tickles me. One of my favourite low budget horror films is the Australian flick Razorback. What I'm not too keen on is the approach of adding random bits to a solid concept. The minions Rorsch and Brine were cool. Putting a giant, bipedal pig in a plastic bag with Warjack bits and a load of glue, shaking it about and then tipping it out to see what has happened is not cool. Never. Not even if Mike McVey did it. But that seems to be what PP have done with this excrescence:


Now I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, a bio-mechanical warbeast has been on the cards for a while, and if a 13 year old kid showed you this as a conversion then fine. But as a final model? One that will cost over £20? The head is good. It's more realistic than Brine, though it does seem a touch too big. It's when all the other things are added together, the miniature's weaknesses far outweigh it's one 'strength'. What has depressed me is the endless praise this model has received. It's a crappy pastiche of scrapyard and sub-Hirst wankery but you tossers are eating it up. It makes Dominar Rasheth (or Pearl from Blade, in my prior post) look like a work of inspirational genius akin to Da Vinci's bronze horse. What do you mean you've never heard of it? I despair. I really, really do. But fuck me, eh?

Back to the world of models. As I previously mentioned, I really like the Farrow. Brutal pig-men who are imitative of the cultures around them yet with some really great shamanic traditions. You can do some really horrible things with them. The initial models are great, the new Farrow Warlock is wonderful but the core beast is shit.

For those of you who don't think so, I'd like to pitch you an idea for an addition to your Warmahordes: the Farrow Seductress. Mat, Rat, Str, Spd 6, Def 16 and Arm 12, 5 wounds. Her special action is to bring out those geeky, confusing feelings of sexual lust you have for anthropomorphic animal women to such an extent you suffocate from your dried in, unwashed wank sweat. You can see the concept here. But fuck her, eh? Yeah, you sure as shit want to.

New Hordes models continue to be a mixed bag. I can put up with the Razor Worm despite it looking like a half-finished poo dangling from an invisible bumhole (it's true, turn it upside down and see if I'm lying), I can put up with that bloated fat fuck now I have discovered that the Agonizers underneath it freak a mate of mine out so long as I don't have to have it, but denying me an entire faction?


That's just not on. It reeks of pandering to the lowest common denominator (ie you) and excluding people of taste (ie me and a couple of other people). So, an army for the masses, just not for me. But fuck you, eh?

Rob
Angry with anonymity ...

The idea nadir and other moanings ...

Well, it seems that the design aesthetic of my beloved Iron Kingdoms has run it's course and is now moving to the imitative/derivative. Nowhere is this more apparent in the latest release for my fucking Hordes faction, Greasus Goldtooth. Err, sorry, Dominar Rasheth. In complete opposition to the Skorne racial ethic of discipline and all round harshness, the only reason this guy still exists, apparently, is because of his skill taming and training warbeasts. Probably threatens to eat them. However, don't take my word for it, here is the new dominar on the block in all his corpulent glory:
And here is a link to a picture of the Ogre Tyrant overlord, Greasus Goldtooth. Now, I agree that a certain commonality of design will become apparent because the new breed of concept designers have a standardised style due to the film and videogame industry. This is unavoidable, and an ironic reversal of the earlier trend of just plagiarising wholesale from our hobby (Blizzard, I'm looking at you).

However, while homogeneity and a unified logic of design is vital for the film and game worlds (for example, Stuart Sumida can extrapolate how a dragon will move based on his knowledge of real-world comparative anatomy and has taught classes to 3d artists worldwide) this kind of detail isn't really needed in the wargames/role play worlds as pictures and toy soldiers need to stay still and, in the case of toy soldiers, not fall off their bases. The more ridiculous the better, as far as I'm concerned. However, all the World of Warcraft knock-off shit that is oozing through the mini community can fuck right off. You want to pay a fortune to use a chat program with a pretty interface, go right ahead. You want to make models that are integral to my armies look like that shit? No thanks.

Another thing that isn't needed is massive price rises and premium pricing for models based on their in-game effect. Not content with the bare faced (ass) cheek of copying GW's models, Privateer have bravely followed GW's lead on this recently by introducing a Bane Thrall UA that costs £20. That's £10 a model. Just because of what they do in game. Which means a basic baneswarm (because let's face it, one of Goreshade's tiers will remove FA from the Unit Attachment) of 3 minimum-strength Banethralls will cost £90 for the 3 units and £60 for the 6 (yes, fucking six) additional models, bringing the grand total up to £150 without Warcaster, Warjacks or anything else.

What the fuck is going on? As soon as you get success that's it? We're all walking wallets to you? I am pretty disappointed with this attitude at the moment, because I love the Warmachine/Hordes game. Not too keen on the background, although it's getting better. But all this is doing is encouraging the web-based discounter to make it untenable for brick and mortar stores to operate without them diversifying into card games (eeewww) and plastic crack. This has the effect of diluting the customer's spending power which results in less money spent on the thing the shop was set up to sell which means there's less stock ordered and pretty soon you have a cabal of pricks dictating what goes where while they have the manufacturer's collective scrotum firmly attached to their mouths.

It's all about removal of choice.

Rob
Angry at people in particular ...

The long delayed first review

OK, it's high time I posted my review of the Studio McVey range of minis. Initially I was going to compare and contrast with JoeK's model range, but as it's only one model that would be none too fair, and I think if you read any past posts you'll see that I'm all about fair play. So, here goes. Oh, all pictures are used without permission, and any opinion is mine blahdey blahdey blah.

When Mike and Ali McVey left Privateer Press in America and came home they set up their own commission business, the aforementioned Studio McVey. Little did the unsuspecting one-handed web surfer (I'm referring to you, not me) know that the long-term plan was to launch a range of limited edition high end display miniatures. Yes, despite what it says on the box, you can't really game with these models unless, I suppose, you use it as a static representation of your role play character. These are fine scale and of the highest quality so consequently they are very delicate.

In this review I will highlight a few miniatures and talk about the range as a whole rather than each individual model. I will be reviewing some of the models in front of me as I have the whole range so far (including one as-yet unreleased model). That's right, I have the lot and bought with my own money too. So, I think you can guess what the review will be like although I shall try not to be too slavishly sycophantic.

The range was launched with the miniature below, the Raven Priest:


Cast in high quality grey resin and fitting together perfectly (unlike a certain other, more well-known range of models) when this model (initially bought with Broga Hourigsen, the second model in the range) was delivered to me by my mate Grant (he's the one with the magic card that works over the internet so he buys my toys) we both nearly had a fucking heart attack. Well, I nearly had the heart attack. Grant just nearly shit his pants with incredulous laughter. You see, the above photo is about as big as the actual fucking model. Seriously, get your monitor to 1280x800 res and that's pretty much accurate. Fucking tiny. I have long been an advocate of only using a Windsor and Newton size 1/GW 'Standard Brush' for everything on a model because (to me) mini painting is all about brush control and the brushes' point, not the fact you have a £40 twig that has several gnat pubes stapled to it instead of a proper brush head, but this model is frigging ridiculous! Talk about taking the piss.

When you get your model you receive the following: one certificate of authenticity signed by Mike, one of the 30mm Warmachine bases and a four piece model (main body, hands and sword, ectoplasmic ejaculation and a raven for the top of the ghostly spooge). What? Look, it's my blog and this is the kind of humour the British are famous for. So it stays. Fucking knobber.

Careful examination of the main piece of the model reveals next to no imperfections. This is quite common throughout the range. I found one tiny piece of feed sprue on the hair of the model and so far, no mould lines. They must be really well hidden. One thing I am nervous about (aside from painting the damn thing) is cleaning. With resin it is always best to wash the model in warm, soapy water before undercoating, but this thing is delicate. I'm going to have to use a really soft toothbrush. On the back of the model is a fantastically detailed raven skull (there's even a little hole where the bird's optic nerves would connect from the eyes to the brain. Un-fucking-believable).

And now onto the cloak. For fuck's sake. That many feathers should be raising some alarms with animal rights groups somewhere. Each individual feather is fully detailed and about a third of the thickness of a metal casting. There must be over a couple of hundred of the damn things, all crying out to have their detail filled by a slightly too thick layer of primer spray. Bastards. The cloak itself is swirling, enhancing the 'caught mid spell' motion of the model. It also acts as a great frame for the body of the mini, with a fabric lining effectively preventing any overwhelming of the front (and focus) of the model with too much fine detail.

The front of the model is also wonderfully crisp with some of the most ridiculously fine buckles ever seen on a miniature ever in the history of everything on the thigh straps. I thought they were mould lines at first they're that thin. Oh, and his feet have proper fucking toes, not random prehensile sausages that would enable him to climb the side of a fucking skyscraper. Moving past the body (muscular in a wiry rather than brutish way, as is befitting for this model) we get to the head and face. One thing I would like to point out is a properly done sternocleidomastoid muscle that has it's upper insertion point correct - into the mastoid part of the skull behind the jawbone and frames his Adam's apple really nicely.

The face is really wonderful, the kind of thing a 'real' painter loves to paint. It is suggestive of an older man, with wrinkles and slightly haggard, the result of a life lived in a harsh clime. It suggests experience and wisdom and a life of conflict. It's wonderfully evocative and a tribute to the sculptor in that it captures the recognisable features of the Native American without succumbing to cliché or exaggeration. Oh, and the eyelids are present too. The eyes are slightly sunken into the sallow face which will be a nightmare to paint correctly.

Moving on to the other bits, the sword is a touch odd at first. Obviously Viking in inspiration, the thin blade (about 1mm across at it's thickest part) has runes inscribed into it (yeah, you read that last part correctly, they are most likely a quarter mm deep) and has two of the most anatomically correct hands ever on a model (etc etc). You get the fleshy pads at the base of the palm where the thumb joins the hand, and the thumb curls correctly onto the rest of the hand. A little thing to notice, perhaps, but when I was studying 3ds Max correctly modelling hands gave me fucking fits. Really fucking hard to do good, and it is the mark of a master sculptor to do them this well.

The magical emission is up to the quality of the rest of the model, with a separate raven just for you to glue to your eyebrows when you sneeze during the assembly. I found one minor mould line near the end of the cloud that connects to his mouth and that was all. Incidentally, Mike and Ali recommend pinning the cloud to provide extra strength to the join. Really? And where are the rest of us going to acquire such supernatural pinning skills? Damn it, man.

Overall, this model is a great little item, quite unique in itself and worth the money. In fact, you'd definitely pay at least a fiver on top of the price the McVey's are asking if they came from any of the major manufacturers.

Whew. That's a shitload of stuff to read. I'll be quicker with the next model, Broga Hourigsen. Not because it's not as good, but because I think you get the gist of what this range is all about. So then, onto Broga:

Six pieces this time, plus a scenic insert for the 40mm base. Again, a couple of minor mould lines, and the feed sprue is easily recognisable and looks to be easily removed. You get a body (obviously), two heads, probably the best shield in the history of shields (etc etc), a short sword with a dragon scale sheath (I'm assuming, as the model is a dragon slayer) and a lance. The lance may seem an odd choice of weapon, but this guy looks like he could spit an Abrams battle tank with it. That's right, he's the opposite of the Raven Priest in physique. That's not to say he's clumsily sculpted. He's just a heavy-set hard bastard. The pose has great movement, like he's just setting himself before delivering the coup de grâce to some unlucky lizard, before making off with the requisite virgin maiden (or catholic schoolgirl if he's lucky) to tidy his flat and get his trophy skulls in order.

As you would expect from Kev White, sculptor extraordinaire and all round top bloke, this is an amazingly tight sculpt. There really is a sense of restrained motion in this one, and it is one of his finest sculpts ever (etc etc) which really is saying something because his sculpts are incredibly highly regarded in the miniatures world by anyone whose taste isn't solely in their mouths. Of the two heads I personally prefer the one encased in the uncomfortable but evil looking helm. The bare face is wonderful, don't get me wrong (this is another guy who has seen life, and has a badly-set broken nose and a right hook that would knock out a small house to prove it) I just prefer the whole 'faceless warrior of bastardry' shtick myself.

Encased in some of the smoothest heavy armour ever it's quite a feat to make him look like he can move under all that metal and dragon scale, let alone heft such a monstrous weapon and shield. A shield that has a scale inlay on the front and relief patterns on the reverse. What the hell? I hear you say. But think about it. This guy's day job is fighting things that breathe fire/acid/lightning/watery Frenchman's ejaculate so all the fine inlay would be on the bit that doesn't get damaged. Ahh, you get it now, eh?

This attention to detail runs throughout the whole Studio McVey range. Form following function and not just bedecking them with rivets, skulls and chains for the hell of it.

So, two wonders of miniature design, and onto the first female model, with concept art by the lovely Ali McVey. Surely, you cry, they have gone the Games Workshop route and made her more masculine than an evening of fried meat products and a war movie marathon with Blackhawk Down prominently featured? There must be a whiff of the sausage about 'her'? More pre than post operative Brazillian? Well, let us have a look at Seraphine Le Roux:

That's right, a wonderfully sensual and feminine model with echoes of Nichelle Nichols, no aura of transgender and, unusually for the range, a single piece cast. The first thing Grant noticed about this model was the fact that the snake is a proper snake. It's not just a tube of resin, it has a spine and the triangular, muscular feel of a constricting snake. The first thing I noticed was how fucking tiny it is. I swear, from the bottom of the diaphanous robe to the top of the Afro is the same length as the top knuckle of my fucking thumb. I nearly fucking cried when I realised, not content with making me paint Afro-Caribbean skin tones Studio McVey is making me paint one of the greatest, most proportionate female sculpts of all time ever (etc etc).

You might want to take a look at those tarot cards. Ali has actually painted a design on them, minuscule as they are. When I got to quiz her about how it was done, she said it was more about the gesture of the mark than painting the actual detail. Still, looks like a fully painted tarot card on something that has to be about 3mm wide at best to me.

I could go on and on about how great the range is but, being the jaded, bitter porn-hoarders you are you would most likely say 'Ah, but that Viking dude and the anime chick are pretty shit'. After you woke up and picked up your teeth I'd tell you that they are two of the most underrated models in the entire range, especially Vitharr Bearclaw. Despite being named after a type of pastry, Vitharr is a proper name-taker. This looks like the type of guy who would fit in with those ultimate of hard bastard name-takers, the SAS themselves.

The model comes in 4 pieces with a scenic base insert, main body, two heads and two weapons:


Height-wise, he stands a head taller than Nichelle, but much wider and bulkier. He has the requisite mighty thews but he also has a bit of girth around the waist which, in addition to being encouraging to fat fucks like me is also probably more accurate than the 5% bodyfat extreme sixpack super gymfit version of ancient warriors that modern film is so in love with. You know, those good-looking, hairless wankers that sweat baby oil. Of special note is the chainmail. You can clearly see each individual link. That's fucking right. Every link. Not the usual swirls but proper looking chainmail. There are a couple of prominent mould lines on the undersides of the arm, but that's that. The fur on the cloak looks like fur and not doormats stapled to ... oh wait, that's those other things. He's posed crying his defiance to the skies and ready to sell himself dearly. One huge axe - check. Three swords? Check. You just know he's going to be hacking fools down like a nuclear blast through a wall made of twigs and jam.

It's the same with Sharro, the anime chick. The photos do not do that model (or the paintjob I can reliably inform you) justice. I was going to get one anyway, because I'm a completionist, but when I saw Ali and Mike's model in real life I was much happier. Seeing her in real life even changed Grant's opinion of her.

Each model also has it's own narrative, a little story it conjures into your head. There aren't many models that can do that, and this range does it for me each and every model.

Look, I can type stuff about this range till I run out of superlatives and have to pepper my sentences with 'fuck' and revert to anal sex jokes but the bottom line is this: this range is wonderful and worth your money. That's the important one. Each figurine is worth more than the price paid for it in quality alone. Go to Studio McVey's commercial website, have a squiz at their blog and buy their fucking models.

I haven't even mentioned Pan, Isabella or the latest model, an Elven Bowmistress that is 'waffer theen' (you know, like the mint ... Monty Python ... oh, fuck off then). I also haven't spoiled the next release that was available at Salute (a bright spot in a shitty day) - I will say it's by the same sculptor as the Bowmistress and will be a touch more pricey (but still totally worth it) because there is ... no, I'll keep that to myself.

I'm not affiliated with Studio McVey in any way except as a customer. I am up here at work at ten to two in the morning despite what the fucking blog post time says because I don't have an internet connection at home and I fucking love this range. I have paid cold, hard cash from my own pocket for these models and I haven't regretted any purchase. I will continue to buy every model they produce even if the picture doesn't do it for me because I know the final product will be like the rest of the range - exquisite, quirky, amazing quality and diametrically opposite to GW's 'Minotaurs'.

For those of you that need a properly quantified score and can't be arsed to read the review and generate your own opinion - fuck off you pedantic twat, get your money out and buy.

For the rest of you, see the above statement.

Rob
Angry that time keeps slipping away

Third Picture Update ...

Well, it's a little after the end of the week, but I have finally remembered the cable for the boss' camera. I also remember that some people like to see your painting set up, what you use to make your art (even if the end result is smeared in the metaphorical monkey poo) - kind of like sneaking a crafty peek at another bloke's cock when you're in a public urinal but less soul destroying than when you see he has some kind of prehensile appendage more suited as the nose of something large, grey and tusked. So here is my mobile painting station. Not for me the unmanly sight of a shoebox or one of those ridiculously expensive rotating paint shelves that look like a load of cake trays bolted onto a piece of plastic pipe, oh no. I have a large Stanley toolbox, as shown below. The twat who mugs me for expensive tools will be in for a shock, I can tell you. Not to mention a fucking hernia.

In this next shot, you can see where I keep the tools of my 'trade'. Immediately apparent is the fact I'm one of those types that has to have everything before I avoid starting a project. Note the clayshaper, greenstuff and greystuff - perfect for sculpting, along with the roll of 15 Gale Force 9 sculpting tools and 1 Games Workshop sculpting tool. GW knife and clippers, GF9 pinning stuff and files, mainly GW brushes (the Army Painter brushes are for pigments). Lots of stuff, eh?

Okay, so let's flip the lid and see what we can see. Well, one big fucking mess and a large roll of wankrag. Doesn't look like a promising start, does it? However, it's best to lay dropper bottles of paint on their sides. Why? Because then you can just roll the tube between your hands to easily mix the paint into a solid colour because there's a larger surface area for the pigment and medium to mix together, plus you don't get wanker's cramp by giving a bazillion pots of paint a quick flick of the wrist. There, not a sexual pun in the whole explanation. On the top is one full set of Vallejo Panzer Aces paints, plus another 9 pots of Vallejo Model colour. So, that's about 57 pots of paint so far ...

So, removing the wankrag, Vallejo and the tube of Daler Rowney Matte Glaze Medium, what do we have left? One full range of Privateer Press Paints, generally referred to with the cunning acronym P3 by those in the know. Developed by Saint Mike McVey, these paints are very reminiscent of the original GW paints (you know, they came in sets - Creature, Colour, Expert etc). With a liquid-based pigment these paints generally have great coverage, but the metallic paints (a bit of a misnomer as there generally aren't metal flakes in the paint, it's usually powdered mica and titanium dioxide) could have benefitted from being a powder-based one, as the GW metallic paints still rule the roost. Still, these paints are designed by my painting hero, so I have to learn how to use them, and use them well - I am an acolyte of the feathered blend, after all. I also have all of the P3 inks (in dropper bottles towards the bottom of the picture) and 2 pots of P3 mixing medium. You can also see my superglue, made by BSI, one full set of GW Foundation paints and a full set of the new GW washes (a great way of taking the skill out of painting, meaning those more mediocre than even I can get great results with neat base coats and washes). With the P3 range having 72 paints and inks, 18 pots in the foundation range and 8 pots of wash, that takes the running total so far to about 155 pots of gunk to paint shit with ...

I can't be arsed to pull all my P3 out of the box so here's the last piccy of my box a touch less empty than before (fnar fnar). In addition to the two pots of pre-mixed colours and the extra pot of wash, there's a paint range that may be unfamiliar to some - the Rackham range. Rackham used to produce some of the best fantasy miniatures ever (and I do mean ever). Then they shifted to pre-painted plastic minis and pissed off their core demographic by dumping the whole range of metals. Their studio painters were the ones who popularised the NMM (Non-Metallic Metal) style of painting, making the 'Eavy Metal painters look average in comparison. Mind you, they didn't have to pump out the amount of models the GW guys did, and the GW guys can produce world class high end paint jobs if they are given the time to. But the Rackham revolution was something special at the time, a revelation in a largely pre-internet community and has had a lasting effect on the look of minis. Gone are the overly bright, cartoonish paint jobs for the connoisseur, replaced with more realistic, subtle and naturalistic schemes. Fuck that shit. I want an escape, not a recreation. Good job too, as I don't have the skill to do all the realistic stuff. So, another 48 pots of paints brings my mobile total to ...

... 205, give or take. Two hundred and five pots of fucking paint, not to mention the 14 or so pots of MiG Pigments, thinner for washes, acrylic resin and pigment fixer for all that realistic weathering I deperately want to be able to do (fuck you, I don't care about what I just said, I can dream about being a good painter and you can't do shit about it). Bear in mind I have a full set of Citadel Colour at home (another 72 ish paints) along with a full set of the original Citadel Colour paints (another 90 or so) and you see my secret addiction, and it isn't shitty anal sex puns. Well over 300 paints. The net result of which is ... someone obsessed with shitty anal sex puns while being a mediocre fucking painter. With a job I appear to be shit at eating away my life I don't have the time to devote to mini painting. Which is why I have turned out a crappy tabletop level model for display:

Lord Tyrant Hexeris, done in the colours of Ron Kruzie's Skorne in the Tale of 4 Gamers article in No Quarter. A very limited palette, trying to get a desaturated look - not much point in all those fucking paints, then. Still, it was reasonably quick to paint and as I burbled on about in an earlier post, it's about the overall look of the army, not the individual model. Good fucking job too. Easier to paint than the Ret scheme done by Matt DiPietro. I should have an army of everyone's favourite desert-dwelling fascist bastards done by the end of the year.

I am finding it hard to motivate myself at the moment. I feel spread a bit too thin, but that might just be my insomnia getting the better of me. I have to change models, to paint a solo for a fellow Pressganger for Christmas, so maybe that will turn out ok. Who knows? Who fucking cares? It's all shit at the end of the day, like every human endeavor - ultimately pointless unless it leads to some form of sexual gratification. And haven't I chosen the perfect way to get the girlies, eh?

Rob
Angry at the lack of available women in his shop

Found items and the like ...

I've had the misfortune to find the cable that connects the camera to the computer, so it looks like my previously mentioned rare triumph will be the usual load of crap. I got some painting in on Hexeris, I just have to do the flesh, tidy up the overspill, finish the armour and then do the base. As for time, well, when painting I don't go by hours but by what music I've been listening to. So far it has taken me one play through of Slipknot Live at Download '09, one play through of Metallica Live at Nottingham '09 and one play through of Master of Puppets. This time includes eight cigarette breaks as well.

It's looking a bit rubbish, to be honest, but fine for the tabletop. The thing I have to keep reminding myself is that speed painting isn't about the individual miniature but the overall look of the army. I'm hoping to have at least 500 points done by the end of the month, along with a continued assault on poor Kaelyssa.

As for pictures, there should be some on Friday. I need 24 hours for the PVA to dry before I can do anything to the base, then another 24 hours for the static grass to dry (that stuff gets everywhere). I'm going for the same washed out look on the base, as the Skorne are desert dwellers (hmm, real pale skin, too. Someone doesn't know their evolutionary biology, methinks).

I would try to be witty and stuff, but I'm too drained.

Rob
Angry at creationism

There's no business like (trade) show business ...

Over the weekend, I got to go to Gamesfest 4 with my LGS, Wargames Inc. Awesome, eh? So I decide to get a relatively early night for the 5am Saturday start. One of my neighbours has other plans, however, and regales me with shitty R'n'B and pop music via the too-loud speakers in his fucking car. I'd have loved to swing out and pull an inverted takedown on the bastard, but I'm not Batman.

So, 3 hours of sleep later I'm up and staggering down to meet Martin, a customer who had agreed to drive me to the show and sell shit for Wargames Inc and we're off. It's a long fucking way to Watford (my initial hopes that it would be a quick drive were dashed when I learned that the Watford Gap service station is nowhere fucking near Watford). Setup was ok, we had a good spot and I got my demo table out to run Warmachine battlebox demos all day - easy life.

However, I had forgotten Alessio Cavatore (Skaven Army Book, current 40K) was sending his proxy down to demo Shuuro for the store. When his proxy turned out to be Jervis 'Bloodbowl' Johnson I had to pack my shit away. I mean, some scruffy twat Pressganger or a legitimate games design legend? He's a really nice guy too, so I sold some stuff for Wargames, pointed people in the direction of the big Warmachine demo game and cooly chatted to Jervis (monopolised him with my lickspittle fawning, really). I gave up my demo spot and talked about the old days with the guy who created Bloodbowl. Fucking top one, so far.

I also hung out with Dave from Warlord Games. Their new Black Powder rules, written by Rick Priestly (also a really nice and approachable guy) and Jervis Johnson sound really intriguing. No points values and abuse of the system limited by agreement between friends. That's the main thing behind these rules, getting together with your mates to have fun - the rules are very old school in that respect. I will be wanting one of those, I can tell you. But to blag Martin the 'Big Willie' figure I had to make a sale for them. That's right, I had to schill for Warlord Games to get someone a limited run miniature and that someone wasn't me. Dave's a cheeky bastard.

The day took a slightly sour turn for us when another trader turned up and announced he was selling all his stuff at 50% off RRP. Good for the gamer, I know, but not so good for the trader who is scrabbling for margins in what is, let's face it, a niche market at best. And when he announced a further 25% reduction on his 'overstock' (including Grind, a game from Privateer Press released last week), that was taking the piss. Perhaps he didn't realise a Pressganger would know about Privateer's products. We had to refund any profit made thanks to that. The event organisers, Mark and Walter were really understanding and helped us out as best they could, so thanks to them for that.

The event was stacked with authors, including one of the guys who got me into this hobby, Steve Jackson (no, not the GURPS guy), one of the Fighting Fantasy gamebook creators. The most surreal moment for me was when Jervis (his manner is very disarming, you soon forget he's a GW big cheese) said 'I hope Steve Jackson's here with the Fighting Fantasy guys, I haven't spoken to him in ages'. I did a double take until I realised that Jervis is, actually, a GW big cheese and not one of my mates. Steve Jackson (no, not the fucking GURPS guy) and Jon Green were signing books, as were Graham McNeil and the author of the Brethren trilogy, Robyn Young.

I got to make some new friends (well, let's say I met some people who didn't automatically vomit after spending a couple of minutes with me) and had a good time generally. Definately worth going to.

I got to bed at about 10pm, so a long day for me. Then I got up, feeling a bit ill, and went down to Wargames to get some painting done. It turned out really fucking shit. I hadn't used inks in a long fucking time. Basically, I ruined the Kaelyssa model. That's what I get for following Matt DiPietro's destructions. I'll post pictures later on in the week and leave you with this one bit of advice: if you're ill enough to have to turn down a home-cooked meal (I missed chilli and rice, for fuck's sake) you're not well enough to fucking paint.

The real fucking kicker is that on Monday I felt pretty good. Looks like my crappy immune system crapped out on me, but only for one day.

Shit.

Rob
Angry that days off are full of suffering

The obligatory intro post ...

Hola! My name is Rob and I'm a mini painter. I'm back on the wagon after a long lay off, about 15 years or so ...

Ahem.

Yeah, another old fart getting back into the hobby. The ultimate goal is to get to the 2010 Golden Daemon awards and make it through the first cut. That's right, not to win an award (not that I'd say no, mind you) but to be able to produce painting that people other than my mum or those scared of my incredibly foul temper think is ok too.

I'm currently painting (or massively devaluing) Kaelyssa, Night's Whisper, a Retribution warcaster at the moment (slavishly following the destructions in the Ret rulebook by Matt DiPietro) and using P3 paints. It's not going so well, but that's to be expected after such a long layoff. As soon as I get the damn camera to work, I'll post pictures, so you'll just have to take my word for this - it's stunning in it's mediocrity. First cut is seeming quite far away at the moment.

I'll also be giving my thoughts on paint ranges, mini ranges and anything else I need to spew vitriol over. Hell. it's the internet, you don't know who I am, I can get away with pretty much anything on here.

Boobies!!

See?

Oh, and if bad language offends, you might not want to follow along ...

Rob
Angry at people on his lawn