Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Not using a John Lennon pun at all, dammit!

So yesterday (must ... fight ... obviousness ...), I thought I'd get a shitload of painting done. It's my day off, I left the laptop at work so any film watching/.pdf reading could wait and my natural tendancy to prevaricate would be neutered. The plan was to pretty much complete the warcaster so I can move on to the units of troops, then my mage hunter solo, followed by the 'jacks. I roll out of bed and the first thing I see is ... Batman: Arkham Asylum.

Now I haven't played on my mate's 360 for ages (I should really give it back, I suppose) but I thought a few hours on the game wouldn't hurt. I stopped playing the fucking game a half hour before I was due to come in to work. It's that good. So, that's why this update is shit. I've not done any painting, I'm mostly asleep and it's all Batman's fault. I mean, who wouldn't like to destroy some tosser because he's a dick?

No-one, that's who.

Plus, you can hang upside-down from gargoyles and zip down to grab the bastards by the throat and you end up hanging them by their ankle while you zip across to anouther handy vantage point and wait to apply the coup de friggin grâce.

When the punk's buddys go to see what has happened, and are standing beneath him, you throw your batarang at the rope and stupid falls on his mate and knocks 'em both out! Fucking genius!

So, the upshot of this crappy post is this: don't play videogames if you're meant to be doing something else and buy Batman: Arkham Asylum - you beat the shit out of people of every colour so it's fun, non-racist catharsis.

Everyone put on their growlyest voice and repeat after me:

I'm not Batman.


Angry he isn't a Knight of the Dark variety


  1. LOL its is a bloody good game though I did that a couple of weeks ago, but started at 9 am and decided to get dressed at about 7pm before the other half got home from work!

  2. Dark Knight is such a linear game its quite embaressing ... see below:

    "I've reached a dead end..." said Batman.

    Activate 'detecto-vision' motioned Anton.

    "Oh, there it is! WOOP!" cried Batman, jumping like a girl and clapping his hands.

    However, what makes the game is the fighting system, the badguys and most of all the 'picking on' system.

    Nothing fulfills the vigilante justice like making a bunch of badguys pee their pants or dropping them on eachother... great replay value.

    Up there with 'Max Payne' as a game to hang on to.

  3. All games with a story are linear. In some way you have hoops to jump through. The current trend for 'sandbox' style games is, in my opinion, shit. My friends pay a lot of money for the games I borrow and I don't want to have to make my own entertainment. That's why I don't teach games design or 3d modeling any more. However, I do agree with the pair of you (a rarity as I'm by nature contrary) - linear, baddie smashing awesome.