Second Picture Update ...

Bit of a lackluster update today (to match the damn model). So, as promised, here are some crappy pictures of my attempt to match the PP studio Retribution paint scheme. Painting while ill, remember, is not a wise thing to do. Of course, it didn't stop me from fucking up my model and not having easy access to Simple Green, I'll most likely toss the model when it's done. Fucking Matt DiPietro, he made it sound so fucking simple - just add 3 drops of Radiant Platinum, 1 drop of Red Ink and 2 of Blue Ink and 3 drops of Armour Wash my fucking arse. I ended up with a green sword and really dark purple metal everywhere else. Why didn't any of you bastards remind me how fucking strong inks actually are? Well, as long as I can amuse you, I suppose.

Here's the first picture, Kaelyssa's sword:

Oh, that dark line isn't fucking shadow, it's the ink I was told to use. For fuck's sake. At least the compression on the .jpg toned down the shine. Perhaps that's why she's such an effective warcaster - her sword blinds her opponents.

What a load of shit, eh? Well prepare yourself: here's the next one, Kaelyssa herself.

So this is the main body. I do tend to be a quite messy painter, tidying up as I go, but bugger me. Not very nice to say the least. Well, actually, that's like gilding a turd. It has made me think, though. While it's nice (ha!) to try to do your best to improve, it's fucking slow going getting an army done. So I have decided to start another project while this one is going on: getting my Skorne onto the tabletop. To do this, I'm going to speedpaint my tits off, and alternate between the two factions. So tomorrow I'll start the prep on some Skorne (I have a fair amount) with a view to having a portion of them ready for undercoating by Sunday. As for the colour scheme, I'll be going for a monochromatic look similar to the film '300'.

That's right, I'll be ripping off Ron Kruzie's idea from No Quarter. Hell, he's the head of the Privateer painting studio, he hired Matt DiPietro so it's his fault I messed up on this model and I can feel no guilt whatsoever stealing his colour scheme.

See? Justification is easy.

Just ask the Bush family.

Rob
Angry because he hasn't had anything to eat yet

There's no business like (trade) show business ...

Over the weekend, I got to go to Gamesfest 4 with my LGS, Wargames Inc. Awesome, eh? So I decide to get a relatively early night for the 5am Saturday start. One of my neighbours has other plans, however, and regales me with shitty R'n'B and pop music via the too-loud speakers in his fucking car. I'd have loved to swing out and pull an inverted takedown on the bastard, but I'm not Batman.

So, 3 hours of sleep later I'm up and staggering down to meet Martin, a customer who had agreed to drive me to the show and sell shit for Wargames Inc and we're off. It's a long fucking way to Watford (my initial hopes that it would be a quick drive were dashed when I learned that the Watford Gap service station is nowhere fucking near Watford). Setup was ok, we had a good spot and I got my demo table out to run Warmachine battlebox demos all day - easy life.

However, I had forgotten Alessio Cavatore (Skaven Army Book, current 40K) was sending his proxy down to demo Shuuro for the store. When his proxy turned out to be Jervis 'Bloodbowl' Johnson I had to pack my shit away. I mean, some scruffy twat Pressganger or a legitimate games design legend? He's a really nice guy too, so I sold some stuff for Wargames, pointed people in the direction of the big Warmachine demo game and cooly chatted to Jervis (monopolised him with my lickspittle fawning, really). I gave up my demo spot and talked about the old days with the guy who created Bloodbowl. Fucking top one, so far.

I also hung out with Dave from Warlord Games. Their new Black Powder rules, written by Rick Priestly (also a really nice and approachable guy) and Jervis Johnson sound really intriguing. No points values and abuse of the system limited by agreement between friends. That's the main thing behind these rules, getting together with your mates to have fun - the rules are very old school in that respect. I will be wanting one of those, I can tell you. But to blag Martin the 'Big Willie' figure I had to make a sale for them. That's right, I had to schill for Warlord Games to get someone a limited run miniature and that someone wasn't me. Dave's a cheeky bastard.

The day took a slightly sour turn for us when another trader turned up and announced he was selling all his stuff at 50% off RRP. Good for the gamer, I know, but not so good for the trader who is scrabbling for margins in what is, let's face it, a niche market at best. And when he announced a further 25% reduction on his 'overstock' (including Grind, a game from Privateer Press released last week), that was taking the piss. Perhaps he didn't realise a Pressganger would know about Privateer's products. We had to refund any profit made thanks to that. The event organisers, Mark and Walter were really understanding and helped us out as best they could, so thanks to them for that.

The event was stacked with authors, including one of the guys who got me into this hobby, Steve Jackson (no, not the GURPS guy), one of the Fighting Fantasy gamebook creators. The most surreal moment for me was when Jervis (his manner is very disarming, you soon forget he's a GW big cheese) said 'I hope Steve Jackson's here with the Fighting Fantasy guys, I haven't spoken to him in ages'. I did a double take until I realised that Jervis is, actually, a GW big cheese and not one of my mates. Steve Jackson (no, not the fucking GURPS guy) and Jon Green were signing books, as were Graham McNeil and the author of the Brethren trilogy, Robyn Young.

I got to make some new friends (well, let's say I met some people who didn't automatically vomit after spending a couple of minutes with me) and had a good time generally. Definately worth going to.

I got to bed at about 10pm, so a long day for me. Then I got up, feeling a bit ill, and went down to Wargames to get some painting done. It turned out really fucking shit. I hadn't used inks in a long fucking time. Basically, I ruined the Kaelyssa model. That's what I get for following Matt DiPietro's destructions. I'll post pictures later on in the week and leave you with this one bit of advice: if you're ill enough to have to turn down a home-cooked meal (I missed chilli and rice, for fuck's sake) you're not well enough to fucking paint.

The real fucking kicker is that on Monday I felt pretty good. Looks like my crappy immune system crapped out on me, but only for one day.

Shit.

Rob
Angry that days off are full of suffering

Not using a John Lennon pun at all, dammit!

So yesterday (must ... fight ... obviousness ...), I thought I'd get a shitload of painting done. It's my day off, I left the laptop at work so any film watching/.pdf reading could wait and my natural tendancy to prevaricate would be neutered. The plan was to pretty much complete the warcaster so I can move on to the units of troops, then my mage hunter solo, followed by the 'jacks. I roll out of bed and the first thing I see is ... Batman: Arkham Asylum.

Now I haven't played on my mate's 360 for ages (I should really give it back, I suppose) but I thought a few hours on the game wouldn't hurt. I stopped playing the fucking game a half hour before I was due to come in to work. It's that good. So, that's why this update is shit. I've not done any painting, I'm mostly asleep and it's all Batman's fault. I mean, who wouldn't like to destroy some tosser because he's a dick?

No-one, that's who.

Plus, you can hang upside-down from gargoyles and zip down to grab the bastards by the throat and you end up hanging them by their ankle while you zip across to anouther handy vantage point and wait to apply the coup de friggin grâce.

When the punk's buddys go to see what has happened, and are standing beneath him, you throw your batarang at the rope and stupid falls on his mate and knocks 'em both out! Fucking genius!

So, the upshot of this crappy post is this: don't play videogames if you're meant to be doing something else and buy Batman: Arkham Asylum - you beat the shit out of people of every colour so it's fun, non-racist catharsis.

Everyone put on their growlyest voice and repeat after me:

I'm not Batman.

Fuckers.

Rob
Angry he isn't a Knight of the Dark variety

First Picture Update

Well, it's a bit of a crappy picture (not enough light) and it turns out Paint.net is not as good as Photoshop (selection tools lick rectum big time) but what the hell. I messed about with levels and the like to get it closer to what it actually looks like but it turned into the same green as Green Stuff (used to make the damn thing). In reality it's a warm green with reddish-brown shading and in the pic it's ... utter bollocks.

I'm trying to get a more naturalistic look, not taking the highlights too high so the armour looks really white (it's actually a really, really pale blue) which should tie in to her dye-job when I paint her hair. Which is why she's wearing a spinach-green cloak (plants are cammo, right?) offset with that stealthiest of colours, bright fucking white. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not jumping on the colour scheme bashing bandwagon (I quite like it) but Matt DiPietro is far better at this lark than I am. He's most likely younger and better-looking than me which makes me want to spew bile like I just drank the world's most potent emetic. Bastards.

White and black are two of the most difficult colours to shade and highlight and thanks to Matt 'Inspirational' DiPietro I've jumped right in - the damn 'jacks are going to be a pain in my ringpiece, lots of smooth surfaces to shade. Mind you, the Ret painting guide in the army book is worth the price alone. That's right, I have an army of these bastards to get through. The plan is to paint every model as well as I can, that way I should improve a bit.

There will be rants aplenty in future, but that's it for this episode. Much Kudos to Matt DiPietro and the Privateer Press painting studio for being inspirational, even if it does make me overreach myself.

First one of you bastards to tell me to 'Paint like I got a pair' gets a half-brick in the fucking face.

Rob
Angry he hasn't got Mike McVey's skills

The obligatory intro post ...

Hola! My name is Rob and I'm a mini painter. I'm back on the wagon after a long lay off, about 15 years or so ...

Ahem.

Yeah, another old fart getting back into the hobby. The ultimate goal is to get to the 2010 Golden Daemon awards and make it through the first cut. That's right, not to win an award (not that I'd say no, mind you) but to be able to produce painting that people other than my mum or those scared of my incredibly foul temper think is ok too.

I'm currently painting (or massively devaluing) Kaelyssa, Night's Whisper, a Retribution warcaster at the moment (slavishly following the destructions in the Ret rulebook by Matt DiPietro) and using P3 paints. It's not going so well, but that's to be expected after such a long layoff. As soon as I get the damn camera to work, I'll post pictures, so you'll just have to take my word for this - it's stunning in it's mediocrity. First cut is seeming quite far away at the moment.

I'll also be giving my thoughts on paint ranges, mini ranges and anything else I need to spew vitriol over. Hell. it's the internet, you don't know who I am, I can get away with pretty much anything on here.

Boobies!!

See?

Oh, and if bad language offends, you might not want to follow along ...

Rob
Angry at people on his lawn