The long delayed first review

OK, it's high time I posted my review of the Studio McVey range of minis. Initially I was going to compare and contrast with JoeK's model range, but as it's only one model that would be none too fair, and I think if you read any past posts you'll see that I'm all about fair play. So, here goes. Oh, all pictures are used without permission, and any opinion is mine blahdey blahdey blah.

When Mike and Ali McVey left Privateer Press in America and came home they set up their own commission business, the aforementioned Studio McVey. Little did the unsuspecting one-handed web surfer (I'm referring to you, not me) know that the long-term plan was to launch a range of limited edition high end display miniatures. Yes, despite what it says on the box, you can't really game with these models unless, I suppose, you use it as a static representation of your role play character. These are fine scale and of the highest quality so consequently they are very delicate.

In this review I will highlight a few miniatures and talk about the range as a whole rather than each individual model. I will be reviewing some of the models in front of me as I have the whole range so far (including one as-yet unreleased model). That's right, I have the lot and bought with my own money too. So, I think you can guess what the review will be like although I shall try not to be too slavishly sycophantic.

The range was launched with the miniature below, the Raven Priest:


Cast in high quality grey resin and fitting together perfectly (unlike a certain other, more well-known range of models) when this model (initially bought with Broga Hourigsen, the second model in the range) was delivered to me by my mate Grant (he's the one with the magic card that works over the internet so he buys my toys) we both nearly had a fucking heart attack. Well, I nearly had the heart attack. Grant just nearly shit his pants with incredulous laughter. You see, the above photo is about as big as the actual fucking model. Seriously, get your monitor to 1280x800 res and that's pretty much accurate. Fucking tiny. I have long been an advocate of only using a Windsor and Newton size 1/GW 'Standard Brush' for everything on a model because (to me) mini painting is all about brush control and the brushes' point, not the fact you have a £40 twig that has several gnat pubes stapled to it instead of a proper brush head, but this model is frigging ridiculous! Talk about taking the piss.

When you get your model you receive the following: one certificate of authenticity signed by Mike, one of the 30mm Warmachine bases and a four piece model (main body, hands and sword, ectoplasmic ejaculation and a raven for the top of the ghostly spooge). What? Look, it's my blog and this is the kind of humour the British are famous for. So it stays. Fucking knobber.

Careful examination of the main piece of the model reveals next to no imperfections. This is quite common throughout the range. I found one tiny piece of feed sprue on the hair of the model and so far, no mould lines. They must be really well hidden. One thing I am nervous about (aside from painting the damn thing) is cleaning. With resin it is always best to wash the model in warm, soapy water before undercoating, but this thing is delicate. I'm going to have to use a really soft toothbrush. On the back of the model is a fantastically detailed raven skull (there's even a little hole where the bird's optic nerves would connect from the eyes to the brain. Un-fucking-believable).

And now onto the cloak. For fuck's sake. That many feathers should be raising some alarms with animal rights groups somewhere. Each individual feather is fully detailed and about a third of the thickness of a metal casting. There must be over a couple of hundred of the damn things, all crying out to have their detail filled by a slightly too thick layer of primer spray. Bastards. The cloak itself is swirling, enhancing the 'caught mid spell' motion of the model. It also acts as a great frame for the body of the mini, with a fabric lining effectively preventing any overwhelming of the front (and focus) of the model with too much fine detail.

The front of the model is also wonderfully crisp with some of the most ridiculously fine buckles ever seen on a miniature ever in the history of everything on the thigh straps. I thought they were mould lines at first they're that thin. Oh, and his feet have proper fucking toes, not random prehensile sausages that would enable him to climb the side of a fucking skyscraper. Moving past the body (muscular in a wiry rather than brutish way, as is befitting for this model) we get to the head and face. One thing I would like to point out is a properly done sternocleidomastoid muscle that has it's upper insertion point correct - into the mastoid part of the skull behind the jawbone and frames his Adam's apple really nicely.

The face is really wonderful, the kind of thing a 'real' painter loves to paint. It is suggestive of an older man, with wrinkles and slightly haggard, the result of a life lived in a harsh clime. It suggests experience and wisdom and a life of conflict. It's wonderfully evocative and a tribute to the sculptor in that it captures the recognisable features of the Native American without succumbing to cliché or exaggeration. Oh, and the eyelids are present too. The eyes are slightly sunken into the sallow face which will be a nightmare to paint correctly.

Moving on to the other bits, the sword is a touch odd at first. Obviously Viking in inspiration, the thin blade (about 1mm across at it's thickest part) has runes inscribed into it (yeah, you read that last part correctly, they are most likely a quarter mm deep) and has two of the most anatomically correct hands ever on a model (etc etc). You get the fleshy pads at the base of the palm where the thumb joins the hand, and the thumb curls correctly onto the rest of the hand. A little thing to notice, perhaps, but when I was studying 3ds Max correctly modelling hands gave me fucking fits. Really fucking hard to do good, and it is the mark of a master sculptor to do them this well.

The magical emission is up to the quality of the rest of the model, with a separate raven just for you to glue to your eyebrows when you sneeze during the assembly. I found one minor mould line near the end of the cloud that connects to his mouth and that was all. Incidentally, Mike and Ali recommend pinning the cloud to provide extra strength to the join. Really? And where are the rest of us going to acquire such supernatural pinning skills? Damn it, man.

Overall, this model is a great little item, quite unique in itself and worth the money. In fact, you'd definitely pay at least a fiver on top of the price the McVey's are asking if they came from any of the major manufacturers.

Whew. That's a shitload of stuff to read. I'll be quicker with the next model, Broga Hourigsen. Not because it's not as good, but because I think you get the gist of what this range is all about. So then, onto Broga:

Six pieces this time, plus a scenic insert for the 40mm base. Again, a couple of minor mould lines, and the feed sprue is easily recognisable and looks to be easily removed. You get a body (obviously), two heads, probably the best shield in the history of shields (etc etc), a short sword with a dragon scale sheath (I'm assuming, as the model is a dragon slayer) and a lance. The lance may seem an odd choice of weapon, but this guy looks like he could spit an Abrams battle tank with it. That's right, he's the opposite of the Raven Priest in physique. That's not to say he's clumsily sculpted. He's just a heavy-set hard bastard. The pose has great movement, like he's just setting himself before delivering the coup de grâce to some unlucky lizard, before making off with the requisite virgin maiden (or catholic schoolgirl if he's lucky) to tidy his flat and get his trophy skulls in order.

As you would expect from Kev White, sculptor extraordinaire and all round top bloke, this is an amazingly tight sculpt. There really is a sense of restrained motion in this one, and it is one of his finest sculpts ever (etc etc) which really is saying something because his sculpts are incredibly highly regarded in the miniatures world by anyone whose taste isn't solely in their mouths. Of the two heads I personally prefer the one encased in the uncomfortable but evil looking helm. The bare face is wonderful, don't get me wrong (this is another guy who has seen life, and has a badly-set broken nose and a right hook that would knock out a small house to prove it) I just prefer the whole 'faceless warrior of bastardry' shtick myself.

Encased in some of the smoothest heavy armour ever it's quite a feat to make him look like he can move under all that metal and dragon scale, let alone heft such a monstrous weapon and shield. A shield that has a scale inlay on the front and relief patterns on the reverse. What the hell? I hear you say. But think about it. This guy's day job is fighting things that breathe fire/acid/lightning/watery Frenchman's ejaculate so all the fine inlay would be on the bit that doesn't get damaged. Ahh, you get it now, eh?

This attention to detail runs throughout the whole Studio McVey range. Form following function and not just bedecking them with rivets, skulls and chains for the hell of it.

So, two wonders of miniature design, and onto the first female model, with concept art by the lovely Ali McVey. Surely, you cry, they have gone the Games Workshop route and made her more masculine than an evening of fried meat products and a war movie marathon with Blackhawk Down prominently featured? There must be a whiff of the sausage about 'her'? More pre than post operative Brazillian? Well, let us have a look at Seraphine Le Roux:

That's right, a wonderfully sensual and feminine model with echoes of Nichelle Nichols, no aura of transgender and, unusually for the range, a single piece cast. The first thing Grant noticed about this model was the fact that the snake is a proper snake. It's not just a tube of resin, it has a spine and the triangular, muscular feel of a constricting snake. The first thing I noticed was how fucking tiny it is. I swear, from the bottom of the diaphanous robe to the top of the Afro is the same length as the top knuckle of my fucking thumb. I nearly fucking cried when I realised, not content with making me paint Afro-Caribbean skin tones Studio McVey is making me paint one of the greatest, most proportionate female sculpts of all time ever (etc etc).

You might want to take a look at those tarot cards. Ali has actually painted a design on them, minuscule as they are. When I got to quiz her about how it was done, she said it was more about the gesture of the mark than painting the actual detail. Still, looks like a fully painted tarot card on something that has to be about 3mm wide at best to me.

I could go on and on about how great the range is but, being the jaded, bitter porn-hoarders you are you would most likely say 'Ah, but that Viking dude and the anime chick are pretty shit'. After you woke up and picked up your teeth I'd tell you that they are two of the most underrated models in the entire range, especially Vitharr Bearclaw. Despite being named after a type of pastry, Vitharr is a proper name-taker. This looks like the type of guy who would fit in with those ultimate of hard bastard name-takers, the SAS themselves.

The model comes in 4 pieces with a scenic base insert, main body, two heads and two weapons:


Height-wise, he stands a head taller than Nichelle, but much wider and bulkier. He has the requisite mighty thews but he also has a bit of girth around the waist which, in addition to being encouraging to fat fucks like me is also probably more accurate than the 5% bodyfat extreme sixpack super gymfit version of ancient warriors that modern film is so in love with. You know, those good-looking, hairless wankers that sweat baby oil. Of special note is the chainmail. You can clearly see each individual link. That's fucking right. Every link. Not the usual swirls but proper looking chainmail. There are a couple of prominent mould lines on the undersides of the arm, but that's that. The fur on the cloak looks like fur and not doormats stapled to ... oh wait, that's those other things. He's posed crying his defiance to the skies and ready to sell himself dearly. One huge axe - check. Three swords? Check. You just know he's going to be hacking fools down like a nuclear blast through a wall made of twigs and jam.

It's the same with Sharro, the anime chick. The photos do not do that model (or the paintjob I can reliably inform you) justice. I was going to get one anyway, because I'm a completionist, but when I saw Ali and Mike's model in real life I was much happier. Seeing her in real life even changed Grant's opinion of her.

Each model also has it's own narrative, a little story it conjures into your head. There aren't many models that can do that, and this range does it for me each and every model.

Look, I can type stuff about this range till I run out of superlatives and have to pepper my sentences with 'fuck' and revert to anal sex jokes but the bottom line is this: this range is wonderful and worth your money. That's the important one. Each figurine is worth more than the price paid for it in quality alone. Go to Studio McVey's commercial website, have a squiz at their blog and buy their fucking models.

I haven't even mentioned Pan, Isabella or the latest model, an Elven Bowmistress that is 'waffer theen' (you know, like the mint ... Monty Python ... oh, fuck off then). I also haven't spoiled the next release that was available at Salute (a bright spot in a shitty day) - I will say it's by the same sculptor as the Bowmistress and will be a touch more pricey (but still totally worth it) because there is ... no, I'll keep that to myself.

I'm not affiliated with Studio McVey in any way except as a customer. I am up here at work at ten to two in the morning despite what the fucking blog post time says because I don't have an internet connection at home and I fucking love this range. I have paid cold, hard cash from my own pocket for these models and I haven't regretted any purchase. I will continue to buy every model they produce even if the picture doesn't do it for me because I know the final product will be like the rest of the range - exquisite, quirky, amazing quality and diametrically opposite to GW's 'Minotaurs'.

For those of you that need a properly quantified score and can't be arsed to read the review and generate your own opinion - fuck off you pedantic twat, get your money out and buy.

For the rest of you, see the above statement.

Rob
Angry that time keeps slipping away

Quick bullshit at late o'clock ...

Okay, here's how it's gonna be from now on. Regular updates for starters. I know, I promised this before but I've hit on a way of placating the moppets who read this shite/are waiting for their commission/are most definitely not hot women looking for a hook-up with a fat, chain-smoking geek.

Regular reviews.

The first proper review will be of Joek's limited edition miniature range, of which I have number 3 of 300. It's an Elf lord with sword upraised on a scenic base or, as we all know all Elves are really pre-menstrual teen girls, She-Ra. I'll then contrast it with the Studio McVey range. Not a comparison, a contrast. Why not a comparison? Because, you fucking idiot, The McVey range is more established. And it is by my idols. For fuck's sake I'll explain more in the aforementioned first proper review.

However, to whet your appetites, here's a quick teaser - a review of Army Painter Matte Black Spray. And a contrast with the Games Workshop spray. I'm in a mellow mood because I'm listening to James live in Manchester (the 'Getting away with it' concert). So not much rudeness.

The Army Painter range of hobby materiel has rapidly gained popularity with gamers because it knows it's target market. Most gamers want an army of models painted quickly to get onto the tabletop, hence a large range of coloured sprays, several types of dip (fucking cheating) and now some pre-clumped static grass. You know, that product that model railway types have known about for decades. However, the core of their range has to be the undercoat and basecoat range of sprays.

The spray I am reviewing is matte black undercoat. Competitively priced and in an area not totally dominated by the 3 ton, senile, nappy-wearing monkey that is Games Workshop, it is still only available in dedicated hobby shops (like Wargames Inc, ho ho) or online. It's the same size as the GW Chaos Black primer but the nozzle gives a much more diffuse spray, covering models more quickly and saving you money by being more efficient (in theory). In practice, it gets everywhere except where you want it on the fucking mini. The paint formulation leans towards the plastic side of acrylic, and it dries to quite a soft finish with no tooth for subsequent layers of paint.

The quality of the finish leaves a lot to be desired too. You either end up painting on a surface like oily glass or (as on my test model, Lich Lord Terminus) a surface like fucking cake. What cake? A two day old cream and jam scone from the fridge - soft and unlikely to accept paint well. I should have known better but I really wanted Terminus covered and ready to go. I have areas of oily glass, areas of cream scone and some areas of no fucking coverage at all. To compound this, I'll be mainly using P3 paints and they seem to need a bit of tooth to adhere nicely, meaning a fun time of painting him beckons.

In all good faith, I can't recommend the spray. It's deceptively wasteful and quality control appears to vary from batch to batch. There have been a few cases of frosting (propellant mixing with the spray) that I know of. This seems to have died down recently so maybe they have got their act together.

I'm in the minority in the store, but the GW undercoat range is still the best. It contracts slightly (a bit like gesso but much less pronounced) when it dries out on the model, forming a tougher coat, and has the slight tooth that makes it a joy to paint over. The nozzle gives a more tightly focused spray which gives greater control and, paradoxically, less waste.

I do like the Army Painter Gray undercoat spray, but you have to really dust the coat on from a slightly further distance than is recommended so you run the risk of a sandpaper texture in the finish.

Conclusions? Stick with the GW sprays (aside from the varnish) and if you want to do some flash painting effects, use black/white zenithal undercoating and be done with it.

So, other news. The Khador Behemoth is put together and waiting for an undercoat. I have the colour scheme worked out, and I shall start it soon. All I have to say about that is I shall never ever have one in my Khador Army. Oh, and thanks to Cris for letting me test out my Khador scheme and work out all the bugs on his model.

Nice.

Rob
Angry that he didn't make the grade, been more loved and less afraid, scored the goal or got the girl ...

Tangency ahead ...

It's late and I'm listening to the THACO podcast interspersed with Julian Bream playing Joaquín Rodrigo's Concierto de Aranjuez (there's some culture for you fuckers) and attention span problems are hitting. I need to be doing about four or five hobby projects at once. Stupid, yes, but it's how I'm wired. Rather than berate the reader with vitriolic diatribe interspersed with gay sex jokes (hurr u liek it up teh botti), I'll just get on with my latest scheme and what's going on with my Desert Nazis (just switched to Bream playing Bach's Fugue in A Minor).

The Skorne will be coming along (I'm just prepping my Tyrant Commander, a mini that looks like it's been fucking hit with a tattooist's needle it's that fucking pitted), to be followed by some Cataphract Cetratii. These will be speed painted (but hopefully not rushed). I have the mini I'm painting for my fellow pressganger (still in need of prep), Kaelyssa (bloody Matt DiPietro), basic sculpting to learn (blocking forms, correct proportion and the like). Add to this a novel I'm plugging away at in the background and I need one more project to fritter away my life with.

Enter the great devourer.

I know, it would have been better if I had wrote 'Enter the realm of Chaos, your nightmare has just begun' and waffled on about Bolt Thrower and how music was awesome when GW was more open to random projects and added some more gay jokes (u stil liek it up u'r bum) but I'm quite mellow at the moment (must be the music, I'm back to Rodrigo).

My history with GW has been quite odd. I think that the management buy out circa White Dwarf 120-ish was a bad thing, and their propensity to simplify and add space machines to everything pisses me off (not to mention the legal department headed, I'm reliably informed, by the very cliché of a greasy lawyer type) but GW kept the hobby alive during the dark times, and as I hob-nob with the higher-ups of the design studio every now and again (who are all really nice guys), I'm prepared to forgive them. Fuck, they aren't hitting me with a cease and desist and I don't really give two squirts of piss about your opinion on Bloodbowl.

The oddness comes from the fact I have never had a full army of GW's before. There, my shock admission is out in the open. When I played my only two games of 40K (then called Rogue trader) 22 years ago, I got had twice and decided to stick to roleplay. Battle at the Farm, where you could be Crimson Fists or Space Orks. My one game of Warhammer Fantasy came during my quest to paint like his holiness Mike McVey and I played with a friend's gobbos against his Dark Elves.

Then I stopped with the hobby for about 10-12 years. I had seen some of Mike's miniatures in real life (specifically his Heroquest diorama and his Eversor Assassin and Emperor vs. Horus dioramas) and I was shocked at how different they looked in real life. For one, you couldn't see the filligree painted on the Emperor's armour and the colours looked so much more rich and vibrant in reality. I was basing my painting style on the lighter way the models appeared in White Dwarf. So they looked quite bland compared to how the high end painters I desperately wanted to emulate really painted.

Add to that my rather punishing training shedule (8 hours work, 6-8 hours gym and martial arts a day) and there wasn't time to do the hobby any more. However, the great thing about toy soldiers is you can always go back to it. I also have found one of the last minis I ever painted before stopping, a test model for a Chaos army in WFB. Yes, I'll get some pictures so you can have a good chortle, you pack of bastards.

Which brings me to the point of this rather meandering post. I am embarking upon my very first 40K army, and it is Tyranids. The greatest menace the Imperium has ever known, and an archetypal 'horde' army. I have started at the top and got my army leader, the Hive Tyrant. He's huge, far bigger than most generals, and directs the will of the intelligence behind the 'Nids on the battlefield. He's also a bit of a bullet magnet, so I imagine there will be very angry posts on how everyone 'lieks it up teh bum bum' because they can beat me easily.

I'll be at Wargames Inc assembling and painting this army, so if you want to come on down and get or give hints and tips on painting, modelling (miniatures or 3d only please) then pop in for a chat.

I promise not to post about your propensity for receiving the sossage up your brown eye at all.

Honest.

Rob
Angry at ... err ... racism. Yeah, that's always a good one to be angry about

Third Picture Update ...

Well, it's a little after the end of the week, but I have finally remembered the cable for the boss' camera. I also remember that some people like to see your painting set up, what you use to make your art (even if the end result is smeared in the metaphorical monkey poo) - kind of like sneaking a crafty peek at another bloke's cock when you're in a public urinal but less soul destroying than when you see he has some kind of prehensile appendage more suited as the nose of something large, grey and tusked. So here is my mobile painting station. Not for me the unmanly sight of a shoebox or one of those ridiculously expensive rotating paint shelves that look like a load of cake trays bolted onto a piece of plastic pipe, oh no. I have a large Stanley toolbox, as shown below. The twat who mugs me for expensive tools will be in for a shock, I can tell you. Not to mention a fucking hernia.

In this next shot, you can see where I keep the tools of my 'trade'. Immediately apparent is the fact I'm one of those types that has to have everything before I avoid starting a project. Note the clayshaper, greenstuff and greystuff - perfect for sculpting, along with the roll of 15 Gale Force 9 sculpting tools and 1 Games Workshop sculpting tool. GW knife and clippers, GF9 pinning stuff and files, mainly GW brushes (the Army Painter brushes are for pigments). Lots of stuff, eh?

Okay, so let's flip the lid and see what we can see. Well, one big fucking mess and a large roll of wankrag. Doesn't look like a promising start, does it? However, it's best to lay dropper bottles of paint on their sides. Why? Because then you can just roll the tube between your hands to easily mix the paint into a solid colour because there's a larger surface area for the pigment and medium to mix together, plus you don't get wanker's cramp by giving a bazillion pots of paint a quick flick of the wrist. There, not a sexual pun in the whole explanation. On the top is one full set of Vallejo Panzer Aces paints, plus another 9 pots of Vallejo Model colour. So, that's about 57 pots of paint so far ...

So, removing the wankrag, Vallejo and the tube of Daler Rowney Matte Glaze Medium, what do we have left? One full range of Privateer Press Paints, generally referred to with the cunning acronym P3 by those in the know. Developed by Saint Mike McVey, these paints are very reminiscent of the original GW paints (you know, they came in sets - Creature, Colour, Expert etc). With a liquid-based pigment these paints generally have great coverage, but the metallic paints (a bit of a misnomer as there generally aren't metal flakes in the paint, it's usually powdered mica and titanium dioxide) could have benefitted from being a powder-based one, as the GW metallic paints still rule the roost. Still, these paints are designed by my painting hero, so I have to learn how to use them, and use them well - I am an acolyte of the feathered blend, after all. I also have all of the P3 inks (in dropper bottles towards the bottom of the picture) and 2 pots of P3 mixing medium. You can also see my superglue, made by BSI, one full set of GW Foundation paints and a full set of the new GW washes (a great way of taking the skill out of painting, meaning those more mediocre than even I can get great results with neat base coats and washes). With the P3 range having 72 paints and inks, 18 pots in the foundation range and 8 pots of wash, that takes the running total so far to about 155 pots of gunk to paint shit with ...

I can't be arsed to pull all my P3 out of the box so here's the last piccy of my box a touch less empty than before (fnar fnar). In addition to the two pots of pre-mixed colours and the extra pot of wash, there's a paint range that may be unfamiliar to some - the Rackham range. Rackham used to produce some of the best fantasy miniatures ever (and I do mean ever). Then they shifted to pre-painted plastic minis and pissed off their core demographic by dumping the whole range of metals. Their studio painters were the ones who popularised the NMM (Non-Metallic Metal) style of painting, making the 'Eavy Metal painters look average in comparison. Mind you, they didn't have to pump out the amount of models the GW guys did, and the GW guys can produce world class high end paint jobs if they are given the time to. But the Rackham revolution was something special at the time, a revelation in a largely pre-internet community and has had a lasting effect on the look of minis. Gone are the overly bright, cartoonish paint jobs for the connoisseur, replaced with more realistic, subtle and naturalistic schemes. Fuck that shit. I want an escape, not a recreation. Good job too, as I don't have the skill to do all the realistic stuff. So, another 48 pots of paints brings my mobile total to ...

... 205, give or take. Two hundred and five pots of fucking paint, not to mention the 14 or so pots of MiG Pigments, thinner for washes, acrylic resin and pigment fixer for all that realistic weathering I deperately want to be able to do (fuck you, I don't care about what I just said, I can dream about being a good painter and you can't do shit about it). Bear in mind I have a full set of Citadel Colour at home (another 72 ish paints) along with a full set of the original Citadel Colour paints (another 90 or so) and you see my secret addiction, and it isn't shitty anal sex puns. Well over 300 paints. The net result of which is ... someone obsessed with shitty anal sex puns while being a mediocre fucking painter. With a job I appear to be shit at eating away my life I don't have the time to devote to mini painting. Which is why I have turned out a crappy tabletop level model for display:

Lord Tyrant Hexeris, done in the colours of Ron Kruzie's Skorne in the Tale of 4 Gamers article in No Quarter. A very limited palette, trying to get a desaturated look - not much point in all those fucking paints, then. Still, it was reasonably quick to paint and as I burbled on about in an earlier post, it's about the overall look of the army, not the individual model. Good fucking job too. Easier to paint than the Ret scheme done by Matt DiPietro. I should have an army of everyone's favourite desert-dwelling fascist bastards done by the end of the year.

I am finding it hard to motivate myself at the moment. I feel spread a bit too thin, but that might just be my insomnia getting the better of me. I have to change models, to paint a solo for a fellow Pressganger for Christmas, so maybe that will turn out ok. Who knows? Who fucking cares? It's all shit at the end of the day, like every human endeavor - ultimately pointless unless it leads to some form of sexual gratification. And haven't I chosen the perfect way to get the girlies, eh?

Rob
Angry at the lack of available women in his shop

Oh, it's so on, bitches!

Another week, another post. The challenge for tonight (and tomorrow) is to paint, with speed, one Hordes Warlock. Pah! I hear you snort derisively. Easy as wiping my arse and twice as fast. Firstly, those who know me know that I paint slow. However, painting slow doesn't get your army done. So I thought I'd join the herd and bash an army out so I can actually have a painted horde (you see what I did there?) to smash my opponents with.

Secondly, who the fuck do you think you are? You don't fucking know me.

Thirdly, can I find the cable that connects the boss' camera to the computer? Not at the moment. So I will have to use my words to tell the story of what is going on.

Once upon a time, a hot redhead from a hit science fiction show came to my house and ...

Fuck. Wrong story.

Basically all I have done is a sloppy prep job (got rid of most of the mold lines), stuck it together and undercoated it black. Citadel primer, for those who are interested. I'll do the masses of drybrushing when I get home from work (shit, before you ask. Sweet zombie Jesus I fucking hate the damn questions you lot always ask). I will be colouring it in using the bane of my painting career so far, Formula P3 paints.

Now, I have nothing against the P3 paints aside from the fact they don't do what I want them to do. And I wish they would either fuck off or do as they should when I see the finished model in my head. I can't badmouth them too much because Mike and Ali McVey (all praise their name) developed them, so they get a lot of slack due to that connection alone.

Paint ranges and limited edition miniatures. My fucking craptonite. I have far too many paints.

Well over 180 different pots from over 4 different ranges before you ask. And that doesn't include pigments, tools, sculpting goo and the rest of my crap.

So tune in sometime later this week to see how it all goes. If I can't get the damn camera lead I'll tell you how it goes (looks like it's going to be a rare triumph on my part so far).

Least I haven't bitched about Matt DiPietro this post, eh? With his talent and good looks and youth. The bastard.

Rob
Angry at your presumtion

First Picture Update

Well, it's a bit of a crappy picture (not enough light) and it turns out Paint.net is not as good as Photoshop (selection tools lick rectum big time) but what the hell. I messed about with levels and the like to get it closer to what it actually looks like but it turned into the same green as Green Stuff (used to make the damn thing). In reality it's a warm green with reddish-brown shading and in the pic it's ... utter bollocks.

I'm trying to get a more naturalistic look, not taking the highlights too high so the armour looks really white (it's actually a really, really pale blue) which should tie in to her dye-job when I paint her hair. Which is why she's wearing a spinach-green cloak (plants are cammo, right?) offset with that stealthiest of colours, bright fucking white. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not jumping on the colour scheme bashing bandwagon (I quite like it) but Matt DiPietro is far better at this lark than I am. He's most likely younger and better-looking than me which makes me want to spew bile like I just drank the world's most potent emetic. Bastards.

White and black are two of the most difficult colours to shade and highlight and thanks to Matt 'Inspirational' DiPietro I've jumped right in - the damn 'jacks are going to be a pain in my ringpiece, lots of smooth surfaces to shade. Mind you, the Ret painting guide in the army book is worth the price alone. That's right, I have an army of these bastards to get through. The plan is to paint every model as well as I can, that way I should improve a bit.

There will be rants aplenty in future, but that's it for this episode. Much Kudos to Matt DiPietro and the Privateer Press painting studio for being inspirational, even if it does make me overreach myself.

First one of you bastards to tell me to 'Paint like I got a pair' gets a half-brick in the fucking face.

Rob
Angry he hasn't got Mike McVey's skills