Quick bullshit at late o'clock ...

Okay, here's how it's gonna be from now on. Regular updates for starters. I know, I promised this before but I've hit on a way of placating the moppets who read this shite/are waiting for their commission/are most definitely not hot women looking for a hook-up with a fat, chain-smoking geek.

Regular reviews.

The first proper review will be of Joek's limited edition miniature range, of which I have number 3 of 300. It's an Elf lord with sword upraised on a scenic base or, as we all know all Elves are really pre-menstrual teen girls, She-Ra. I'll then contrast it with the Studio McVey range. Not a comparison, a contrast. Why not a comparison? Because, you fucking idiot, The McVey range is more established. And it is by my idols. For fuck's sake I'll explain more in the aforementioned first proper review.

However, to whet your appetites, here's a quick teaser - a review of Army Painter Matte Black Spray. And a contrast with the Games Workshop spray. I'm in a mellow mood because I'm listening to James live in Manchester (the 'Getting away with it' concert). So not much rudeness.

The Army Painter range of hobby materiel has rapidly gained popularity with gamers because it knows it's target market. Most gamers want an army of models painted quickly to get onto the tabletop, hence a large range of coloured sprays, several types of dip (fucking cheating) and now some pre-clumped static grass. You know, that product that model railway types have known about for decades. However, the core of their range has to be the undercoat and basecoat range of sprays.

The spray I am reviewing is matte black undercoat. Competitively priced and in an area not totally dominated by the 3 ton, senile, nappy-wearing monkey that is Games Workshop, it is still only available in dedicated hobby shops (like Wargames Inc, ho ho) or online. It's the same size as the GW Chaos Black primer but the nozzle gives a much more diffuse spray, covering models more quickly and saving you money by being more efficient (in theory). In practice, it gets everywhere except where you want it on the fucking mini. The paint formulation leans towards the plastic side of acrylic, and it dries to quite a soft finish with no tooth for subsequent layers of paint.

The quality of the finish leaves a lot to be desired too. You either end up painting on a surface like oily glass or (as on my test model, Lich Lord Terminus) a surface like fucking cake. What cake? A two day old cream and jam scone from the fridge - soft and unlikely to accept paint well. I should have known better but I really wanted Terminus covered and ready to go. I have areas of oily glass, areas of cream scone and some areas of no fucking coverage at all. To compound this, I'll be mainly using P3 paints and they seem to need a bit of tooth to adhere nicely, meaning a fun time of painting him beckons.

In all good faith, I can't recommend the spray. It's deceptively wasteful and quality control appears to vary from batch to batch. There have been a few cases of frosting (propellant mixing with the spray) that I know of. This seems to have died down recently so maybe they have got their act together.

I'm in the minority in the store, but the GW undercoat range is still the best. It contracts slightly (a bit like gesso but much less pronounced) when it dries out on the model, forming a tougher coat, and has the slight tooth that makes it a joy to paint over. The nozzle gives a more tightly focused spray which gives greater control and, paradoxically, less waste.

I do like the Army Painter Gray undercoat spray, but you have to really dust the coat on from a slightly further distance than is recommended so you run the risk of a sandpaper texture in the finish.

Conclusions? Stick with the GW sprays (aside from the varnish) and if you want to do some flash painting effects, use black/white zenithal undercoating and be done with it.

So, other news. The Khador Behemoth is put together and waiting for an undercoat. I have the colour scheme worked out, and I shall start it soon. All I have to say about that is I shall never ever have one in my Khador Army. Oh, and thanks to Cris for letting me test out my Khador scheme and work out all the bugs on his model.

Nice.

Rob
Angry that he didn't make the grade, been more loved and less afraid, scored the goal or got the girl ...

Oh, it's so on, bitches!

Another week, another post. The challenge for tonight (and tomorrow) is to paint, with speed, one Hordes Warlock. Pah! I hear you snort derisively. Easy as wiping my arse and twice as fast. Firstly, those who know me know that I paint slow. However, painting slow doesn't get your army done. So I thought I'd join the herd and bash an army out so I can actually have a painted horde (you see what I did there?) to smash my opponents with.

Secondly, who the fuck do you think you are? You don't fucking know me.

Thirdly, can I find the cable that connects the boss' camera to the computer? Not at the moment. So I will have to use my words to tell the story of what is going on.

Once upon a time, a hot redhead from a hit science fiction show came to my house and ...

Fuck. Wrong story.

Basically all I have done is a sloppy prep job (got rid of most of the mold lines), stuck it together and undercoated it black. Citadel primer, for those who are interested. I'll do the masses of drybrushing when I get home from work (shit, before you ask. Sweet zombie Jesus I fucking hate the damn questions you lot always ask). I will be colouring it in using the bane of my painting career so far, Formula P3 paints.

Now, I have nothing against the P3 paints aside from the fact they don't do what I want them to do. And I wish they would either fuck off or do as they should when I see the finished model in my head. I can't badmouth them too much because Mike and Ali McVey (all praise their name) developed them, so they get a lot of slack due to that connection alone.

Paint ranges and limited edition miniatures. My fucking craptonite. I have far too many paints.

Well over 180 different pots from over 4 different ranges before you ask. And that doesn't include pigments, tools, sculpting goo and the rest of my crap.

So tune in sometime later this week to see how it all goes. If I can't get the damn camera lead I'll tell you how it goes (looks like it's going to be a rare triumph on my part so far).

Least I haven't bitched about Matt DiPietro this post, eh? With his talent and good looks and youth. The bastard.

Rob
Angry at your presumtion