One more link added to the 'What the fuck? I was expecting pictures of dog's rectums' section for those of you who have arrived here due to a dodgy search engine. The THACO podcast is what happens when the Podthralls burn out and choose to do a multi-format show (ie pen and paper rpgs and the like) with different people.
Well worth the listen, and the Fell Calls gang reunite for a look at Hordes MkII as well. Very witty, and a great source of ideas.
Rob
Angry with insomnia yet again ...
Showing posts with label dog's rectums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dog's rectums. Show all posts
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
Games Expo and other things ...
So I'm back from Games Expo and with Wargames Inc nearly in working order, no less. Rather than working with the shop, I got to volunteer with Privateer Press for the weekend. Being a pressganger, I get points for it (nothing in life is truly free after all) to spend on goodies. It was this sweet deal that led to me being the only person there with a Cryx faction book.
The show itself was great. I got to catch up with some friends who had entered the tourney but, more importantly, I got to catch up with Vishal from over at Café Turbo and get some tips on my choice of Khador force. I felt very dirty afterwards. He's a bad, bad man. I also got to cover the first day of the tournament as a rules lawyer. Aside from the inactivity the best thing about that day was seeing my old mate and Everblight terror Danny Suthalong lose his first game. I enjoyed it so much I just had to shake the winner's hand. In front of Danny. But fuck him, eh?
I had to cover Vish for his half hour break so I got to go to the demo area (really my favourite part of volunteering) and managed to drag Vish out for a cigarette break (and tactical advice) and then made an expanded sale to one of the Guts'n'Gears podcast. Then back to the tourney. Some lovely armies, some great players but on the whole a bit boring. Like watching an interesting game of chess or snooker. It's vaguely fascinating but it's still chess or snooker.
In case you're wondering, I got to stay in the demo area on Sunday (I think Mike had really had enough of my whining about not earning my points on Saturday). Highlights include a really overenthusiastic demo game that led to a lot of sales and hanging with Lee, Steve, Chris and Stuart. I suppose I should really apologise to Stuart. He was the only guy who knew what was going on with the cool new demo game, so even though he was pretty drained I got him to run the game again. and again. And I got to get a disillusioned Retribution player to buy two Hordes battleboxes. But fuck him, eh?
So, a great weekend. Soured only by people's continuing lack of understanding with regards to aesthetics and basic taste. It seems that in order to garner rabid appreciation of your product all you have to do is add spikey bits, circa GW's late eighties/eary nineties approach to Chaos armies. The latest model to appropriate this design ethic is Privateer Press' War Hog. Now, I'm a fan of huge animals ripping things to pieces. I yearn for an army of attack maquaques riding silverback gorillas so much I'm sculpting one myself. The idea of sentient pig men à la Tolkien's Orcs maiming random Warcasters tickles me. One of my favourite low budget horror films is the Australian flick Razorback. What I'm not too keen on is the approach of adding random bits to a solid concept. The minions Rorsch and Brine were cool. Putting a giant, bipedal pig in a plastic bag with Warjack bits and a load of glue, shaking it about and then tipping it out to see what has happened is not cool. Never. Not even if Mike McVey did it. But that seems to be what PP have done with this excrescence:
Now I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, a bio-mechanical warbeast has been on the cards for a while, and if a 13 year old kid showed you this as a conversion then fine. But as a final model? One that will cost over £20? The head is good. It's more realistic than Brine, though it does seem a touch too big. It's when all the other things are added together, the miniature's weaknesses far outweigh it's one 'strength'. What has depressed me is the endless praise this model has received. It's a crappy pastiche of scrapyard and sub-Hirst wankery but you tossers are eating it up. It makes Dominar Rasheth (or Pearl from Blade, in my prior post) look like a work of inspirational genius akin to Da Vinci's bronze horse. What do you mean you've never heard of it? I despair. I really, really do. But fuck me, eh?
Back to the world of models. As I previously mentioned, I really like the Farrow. Brutal pig-men who are imitative of the cultures around them yet with some really great shamanic traditions. You can do some really horrible things with them. The initial models are great, the new Farrow Warlock is wonderful but the core beast is shit.
For those of you who don't think so, I'd like to pitch you an idea for an addition to your Warmahordes: the Farrow Seductress. Mat, Rat, Str, Spd 6, Def 16 and Arm 12, 5 wounds. Her special action is to bring out those geeky, confusing feelings of sexual lust you have for anthropomorphic animal women to such an extent you suffocate from your dried in, unwashed wank sweat. You can see the concept here. But fuck her, eh? Yeah, you sure as shit want to.
New Hordes models continue to be a mixed bag. I can put up with the Razor Worm despite it looking like a half-finished poo dangling from an invisible bumhole (it's true, turn it upside down and see if I'm lying), I can put up with that bloated fat fuck now I have discovered that the Agonizers underneath it freak a mate of mine out so long as I don't have to have it, but denying me an entire faction?
That's just not on. It reeks of pandering to the lowest common denominator (ie you) and excluding people of taste (ie me and a couple of other people). So, an army for the masses, just not for me. But fuck you, eh?
Rob
Angry with anonymity ...
I had to cover Vish for his half hour break so I got to go to the demo area (really my favourite part of volunteering) and managed to drag Vish out for a cigarette break (and tactical advice) and then made an expanded sale to one of the Guts'n'Gears podcast. Then back to the tourney. Some lovely armies, some great players but on the whole a bit boring. Like watching an interesting game of chess or snooker. It's vaguely fascinating but it's still chess or snooker.
In case you're wondering, I got to stay in the demo area on Sunday (I think Mike had really had enough of my whining about not earning my points on Saturday). Highlights include a really overenthusiastic demo game that led to a lot of sales and hanging with Lee, Steve, Chris and Stuart. I suppose I should really apologise to Stuart. He was the only guy who knew what was going on with the cool new demo game, so even though he was pretty drained I got him to run the game again. and again. And I got to get a disillusioned Retribution player to buy two Hordes battleboxes. But fuck him, eh?
So, a great weekend. Soured only by people's continuing lack of understanding with regards to aesthetics and basic taste. It seems that in order to garner rabid appreciation of your product all you have to do is add spikey bits, circa GW's late eighties/eary nineties approach to Chaos armies. The latest model to appropriate this design ethic is Privateer Press' War Hog. Now, I'm a fan of huge animals ripping things to pieces. I yearn for an army of attack maquaques riding silverback gorillas so much I'm sculpting one myself. The idea of sentient pig men à la Tolkien's Orcs maiming random Warcasters tickles me. One of my favourite low budget horror films is the Australian flick Razorback. What I'm not too keen on is the approach of adding random bits to a solid concept. The minions Rorsch and Brine were cool. Putting a giant, bipedal pig in a plastic bag with Warjack bits and a load of glue, shaking it about and then tipping it out to see what has happened is not cool. Never. Not even if Mike McVey did it. But that seems to be what PP have done with this excrescence:
Now I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, a bio-mechanical warbeast has been on the cards for a while, and if a 13 year old kid showed you this as a conversion then fine. But as a final model? One that will cost over £20? The head is good. It's more realistic than Brine, though it does seem a touch too big. It's when all the other things are added together, the miniature's weaknesses far outweigh it's one 'strength'. What has depressed me is the endless praise this model has received. It's a crappy pastiche of scrapyard and sub-Hirst wankery but you tossers are eating it up. It makes Dominar Rasheth (or Pearl from Blade, in my prior post) look like a work of inspirational genius akin to Da Vinci's bronze horse. What do you mean you've never heard of it? I despair. I really, really do. But fuck me, eh?
Back to the world of models. As I previously mentioned, I really like the Farrow. Brutal pig-men who are imitative of the cultures around them yet with some really great shamanic traditions. You can do some really horrible things with them. The initial models are great, the new Farrow Warlock is wonderful but the core beast is shit.
For those of you who don't think so, I'd like to pitch you an idea for an addition to your Warmahordes: the Farrow Seductress. Mat, Rat, Str, Spd 6, Def 16 and Arm 12, 5 wounds. Her special action is to bring out those geeky, confusing feelings of sexual lust you have for anthropomorphic animal women to such an extent you suffocate from your dried in, unwashed wank sweat. You can see the concept here. But fuck her, eh? Yeah, you sure as shit want to.
New Hordes models continue to be a mixed bag. I can put up with the Razor Worm despite it looking like a half-finished poo dangling from an invisible bumhole (it's true, turn it upside down and see if I'm lying), I can put up with that bloated fat fuck now I have discovered that the Agonizers underneath it freak a mate of mine out so long as I don't have to have it, but denying me an entire faction?
That's just not on. It reeks of pandering to the lowest common denominator (ie you) and excluding people of taste (ie me and a couple of other people). So, an army for the masses, just not for me. But fuck you, eh?
Rob
Angry with anonymity ...
Saturday, 10 April 2010
Quick bullshit at late o'clock ...
Okay, here's how it's gonna be from now on. Regular updates for starters. I know, I promised this before but I've hit on a way of placating the moppets who read this shite/are waiting for their commission/are most definitely not hot women looking for a hook-up with a fat, chain-smoking geek.
Regular reviews.
The first proper review will be of Joek's limited edition miniature range, of which I have number 3 of 300. It's an Elf lord with sword upraised on a scenic base or, as we all know all Elves are really pre-menstrual teen girls, She-Ra. I'll then contrast it with the Studio McVey range. Not a comparison, a contrast. Why not a comparison? Because, you fucking idiot, The McVey range is more established. And it is by my idols. For fuck's sake I'll explain more in the aforementioned first proper review.
However, to whet your appetites, here's a quick teaser - a review of Army Painter Matte Black Spray. And a contrast with the Games Workshop spray. I'm in a mellow mood because I'm listening to James live in Manchester (the 'Getting away with it' concert). So not much rudeness.
The Army Painter range of hobby materiel has rapidly gained popularity with gamers because it knows it's target market. Most gamers want an army of models painted quickly to get onto the tabletop, hence a large range of coloured sprays, several types of dip (fucking cheating) and now some pre-clumped static grass. You know, that product that model railway types have known about for decades. However, the core of their range has to be the undercoat and basecoat range of sprays.
The spray I am reviewing is matte black undercoat. Competitively priced and in an area not totally dominated by the 3 ton, senile, nappy-wearing monkey that is Games Workshop, it is still only available in dedicated hobby shops (like Wargames Inc, ho ho) or online. It's the same size as the GW Chaos Black primer but the nozzle gives a much more diffuse spray, covering models more quickly and saving you money by being more efficient (in theory). In practice, it gets everywhere except where you want it on the fucking mini. The paint formulation leans towards the plastic side of acrylic, and it dries to quite a soft finish with no tooth for subsequent layers of paint.
The quality of the finish leaves a lot to be desired too. You either end up painting on a surface like oily glass or (as on my test model, Lich Lord Terminus) a surface like fucking cake. What cake? A two day old cream and jam scone from the fridge - soft and unlikely to accept paint well. I should have known better but I really wanted Terminus covered and ready to go. I have areas of oily glass, areas of cream scone and some areas of no fucking coverage at all. To compound this, I'll be mainly using P3 paints and they seem to need a bit of tooth to adhere nicely, meaning a fun time of painting him beckons.
In all good faith, I can't recommend the spray. It's deceptively wasteful and quality control appears to vary from batch to batch. There have been a few cases of frosting (propellant mixing with the spray) that I know of. This seems to have died down recently so maybe they have got their act together.
I'm in the minority in the store, but the GW undercoat range is still the best. It contracts slightly (a bit like gesso but much less pronounced) when it dries out on the model, forming a tougher coat, and has the slight tooth that makes it a joy to paint over. The nozzle gives a more tightly focused spray which gives greater control and, paradoxically, less waste.
I do like the Army Painter Gray undercoat spray, but you have to really dust the coat on from a slightly further distance than is recommended so you run the risk of a sandpaper texture in the finish.
Conclusions? Stick with the GW sprays (aside from the varnish) and if you want to do some flash painting effects, use black/white zenithal undercoating and be done with it.
So, other news. The Khador Behemoth is put together and waiting for an undercoat. I have the colour scheme worked out, and I shall start it soon. All I have to say about that is I shall never ever have one in my Khador Army. Oh, and thanks to Cris for letting me test out my Khador scheme and work out all the bugs on his model.
Nice.
Rob
Angry that he didn't make the grade, been more loved and less afraid, scored the goal or got the girl ...
Regular reviews.
The first proper review will be of Joek's limited edition miniature range, of which I have number 3 of 300. It's an Elf lord with sword upraised on a scenic base or, as we all know all Elves are really pre-menstrual teen girls, She-Ra. I'll then contrast it with the Studio McVey range. Not a comparison, a contrast. Why not a comparison? Because, you fucking idiot, The McVey range is more established. And it is by my idols. For fuck's sake I'll explain more in the aforementioned first proper review.
However, to whet your appetites, here's a quick teaser - a review of Army Painter Matte Black Spray. And a contrast with the Games Workshop spray. I'm in a mellow mood because I'm listening to James live in Manchester (the 'Getting away with it' concert). So not much rudeness.
The Army Painter range of hobby materiel has rapidly gained popularity with gamers because it knows it's target market. Most gamers want an army of models painted quickly to get onto the tabletop, hence a large range of coloured sprays, several types of dip (fucking cheating) and now some pre-clumped static grass. You know, that product that model railway types have known about for decades. However, the core of their range has to be the undercoat and basecoat range of sprays.
The spray I am reviewing is matte black undercoat. Competitively priced and in an area not totally dominated by the 3 ton, senile, nappy-wearing monkey that is Games Workshop, it is still only available in dedicated hobby shops (like Wargames Inc, ho ho) or online. It's the same size as the GW Chaos Black primer but the nozzle gives a much more diffuse spray, covering models more quickly and saving you money by being more efficient (in theory). In practice, it gets everywhere except where you want it on the fucking mini. The paint formulation leans towards the plastic side of acrylic, and it dries to quite a soft finish with no tooth for subsequent layers of paint.
The quality of the finish leaves a lot to be desired too. You either end up painting on a surface like oily glass or (as on my test model, Lich Lord Terminus) a surface like fucking cake. What cake? A two day old cream and jam scone from the fridge - soft and unlikely to accept paint well. I should have known better but I really wanted Terminus covered and ready to go. I have areas of oily glass, areas of cream scone and some areas of no fucking coverage at all. To compound this, I'll be mainly using P3 paints and they seem to need a bit of tooth to adhere nicely, meaning a fun time of painting him beckons.
In all good faith, I can't recommend the spray. It's deceptively wasteful and quality control appears to vary from batch to batch. There have been a few cases of frosting (propellant mixing with the spray) that I know of. This seems to have died down recently so maybe they have got their act together.
I'm in the minority in the store, but the GW undercoat range is still the best. It contracts slightly (a bit like gesso but much less pronounced) when it dries out on the model, forming a tougher coat, and has the slight tooth that makes it a joy to paint over. The nozzle gives a more tightly focused spray which gives greater control and, paradoxically, less waste.
I do like the Army Painter Gray undercoat spray, but you have to really dust the coat on from a slightly further distance than is recommended so you run the risk of a sandpaper texture in the finish.
Conclusions? Stick with the GW sprays (aside from the varnish) and if you want to do some flash painting effects, use black/white zenithal undercoating and be done with it.
So, other news. The Khador Behemoth is put together and waiting for an undercoat. I have the colour scheme worked out, and I shall start it soon. All I have to say about that is I shall never ever have one in my Khador Army. Oh, and thanks to Cris for letting me test out my Khador scheme and work out all the bugs on his model.
Nice.
Rob
Angry that he didn't make the grade, been more loved and less afraid, scored the goal or got the girl ...
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
Tangents within tangents within ovaries ...
Bit of a surprise package arrived today, so I have yet another model stealing my attention - Major Dreadful from the SmartMax range. This is a wonderful resin miniature, extremely well cast especially when compared to Forge World. Barely any mold lines and flashing and, comparing it to the Khorne Daemon Prince out back, much more character.
French quirkyness works on so many levels, especially in their women. However, I have chosen to paint a fat, English lawman and his bulldog (which has a realistically detailed shitbox).
Sigh. Sometimes I hate having so much choice, I am the prevaricator supreme.
Anyway, get your arses down to Wargames Inc if you want to berate me for my language. I'll have to be polite to you, I'll be in public.
Rob
Angry with options
French quirkyness works on so many levels, especially in their women. However, I have chosen to paint a fat, English lawman and his bulldog (which has a realistically detailed shitbox).
Sigh. Sometimes I hate having so much choice, I am the prevaricator supreme.
Anyway, get your arses down to Wargames Inc if you want to berate me for my language. I'll have to be polite to you, I'll be in public.
Rob
Angry with options
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